| Want to be a real man? Then you need to know | | | | remember to maintain your manliness. This means |
| how to throw a BBQ like a real man. Throw away | | | | that as a real man you take beer and steak to a |
| the soy lattes and the metrosexual lifestyle and get | | | | BBQ and not champagne and an antipasto platter. |
| ready for your BBQ transformation. By following | | | | Remember to follow each of the other steps to BBQ |
| these simple steps to manliness you will come to | | | | manliness even when at another’s BBQ. |
| realise where you have been going wrong with your | | | | Fifthly: As a BBQ owner a real man knows to treat |
| BBQ. | | | | their BBQ with respect. Like your home and your car |
| Firstly: You need a BBQ. If you don’t already | | | | your BBQ is one of the most important inanimate |
| have some variation of a BBQ then shame on you, | | | | objects in your life and as a man you should know |
| but fear not as you have come to the right place. A | | | | how to treat it. Be sure your BBQ is cleaned after |
| manly BBQ is simple yet sturdy, reliable, | | | | each use, cover your BBQ against the elements and |
| unpretentious, tough and strong and able to stand up | | | | make sure your BBQ is fixed as soon as a problem is |
| to the harsh Australian conditions. | | | | found. |
| Secondly: You need the correct BBQ attire. If | | | | Sixthly: At a BBQ a real man stands – they |
| you’ve been hosting your BBQ’s in jeans | | | | don’t sit. Real men will stand around the BBQ |
| and a collared shirt, or cargo shorts and a t-shirt then | | | | taking turns to cook the meat whilst discussing manly |
| you have a long way to go to manliness. The | | | | subjects, e.g. how the meat is cooking, what needs |
| traditional Australian BBQ attire includes stubbies, | | | | turning, the beer, football. There are many dangers |
| singlet and thongs (optional). Traditional BBQ attire is | | | | involved in this step (spluttering hot oil, smoke, |
| essential to comfort and exhibiting your true | | | | intense heat) but it will be a true test of your BBQ |
| manliness. | | | | manliness. |
| Thirdly: A real man drinks beer at a BBQ. You may be | | | | Seventhly: A real man only cooks meat on their BBQ |
| tempted by the champagne cocktails going around | | | | and doesn’t enjoy cooking any other type of |
| but you must resist. Head straight for the beers and | | | | food. So veggie burger wielders and chicken and fish |
| don’t forget to have your own stubby holder on | | | | eaters should be warned prior to the BBQ – |
| hand. Remember to never be without a beer in your | | | | “if you don’t want your white or faux meat |
| hand throughout the duration of the BBQ. As BBQ | | | | touching real meat cook it yourself, preferable away |
| host you must always offer beer to those other real | | | | from the BBQ and away from the meat”. As a |
| men that are without a beer or running low. | | | | man you must stand your BBQ ground. |
| Fourthly: If you are a visitor to a BBQ then | | | | |